The Yalom Reader: Selections From The Work Of A Master Therapist And Storyteller by Irvin D. Yalom

As a psychologist working in a college counseling center, I found this book to be a useful review of Yalom’s prior publications. The first part of the book draws from Yalom’s definitive text on group therapy, THE THEORY AND PRACTICE OF GROUP PSYCHOTHERAPY. In this section, he addresses some of the most salient therapeutic factors to group treatment as well provides vital guidelines for therapists serving as group facilitators. He also describes group therapy with several different types of specialized groups: hospitalized patients, patients addicted to alcohol, the terminally ill, and the bereaved (although this last group was aimed at widows/widowers, I have been able to adapt some of the concepts to my work wtih college students). Part two centers on existential therapy, as Yalom provides excerpts from his previous text by that same name. He spends time examining each of the four ultimate concerns–death, freedom, isolation, and meaninglessness–and he focuses particularly on death and anxiety in psychotherapy. In the final section of the book, Yalom espouses on psychology and writing, and he reviews his journey from therapist to fiction writer. Yalom is a thoughtful and engaging writer who provides intelligent insights into some of the most critical areas of psychotherapy in this enjoyable and important book.

Theory and Practice of Group Psychotherapy, Fifth Edition by Irvin D. Yalom and Molyn Leszcz

Yalom’s techniques are timeless, as long as human nature and how it plays out in social interactions transcends time and place. Thus, decades after publication, this book of group therapy lives on, whereas others, more faddish, are either narrowly focused on sufferers of the “disease of the year”, or, in the case of “pragmatic”, short-term “manual-based” groups which insurance companies favor, assume that all one has to do is give the patient the right recipe and 8 weeks to practice it, and they’ll be cured of life-long ingrained pathological behaviors.
Anyone who thinks this book is “out of touch” or demonstrates a lack of empathy by Yalom, probably has a pet style of group therapy, and an axe to grind. Often, seemingly more empathic therapists, run groups in which everyone takes turns getting sympathy, distress is “validated”, whereas the patient’s contribution to it is ignored, and the premise is that sufferers are misunderstood victims of a neglected disease who are finally in the hands of someone who “gets it”. Usually therapists who lead such groups, don’t only wish to empathize, but are driven by a wish to feed their own vision of their specialness as the champions of the underdogs.
One of Yalom’s greatest contributions is the effectiveness with which he used the group approach to exactly show patients how they cause their own distress–by creating a group atmosphere in which members play out their poor social skills, and get the powerful impact of peer feedback on this. He did so in a way which demonstrated genuine empathy in action: by steering members to identify (and empathize) not only with each others’ misery, but with each others’ strengths. Sympathy without a kick in the [...], is patronizing, and implies inequality. Sympathy with a kick in the [...] (always best given by peers), is sympathy with belief in your power–this shows respect for all of you, your strengths and your miseries. THIS is empathy. THIS is what empowers group members to overcome their problems. And this truth, will never go out of date.

Staring at the Sun: Overcoming the Terror of Death by Irvin D. Yalom

I am a layperson interested in how our society confronts their fear of death, how people react and adjust to their dying friends and relatives, and how after the passing of loved ones, people are affected. In this last year I have had numerous life experiences that qualified as `awakening’ experiences and I was curious to read about this topic of death and how we react to it, including fear and terror of death.

I feel that our American culture is lacking information and support about how people are to react to the dying. Little is written of what life is like for a frail, elderly person, our society is ignorant about the dying process. Not much is said about how the healthy people can and should act or help those who are dying and how to handle mourning. I have seen all different reactions amongst family and friends regarding how they react and live around the dying and how they act and think after the loved one does pass on.

Dr. Yalom, a psychiatrist, has written a book about overcoming the terror of death. I’m not afraid of death itself. I read the book because I hoped it would be of some benefit or use to me. Some of it was useful and some of it was not. How his book affects the reader will vary depending on the uniqueness of each person and probably also will depend on their religious beliefs or lack thereof and how they jive with what Dr. Yalom’s belief system.

Using the philosophies of famous philosophers and their ideas of creation and what happens to our body and soul after death, Yalom has constructed a way that he thinks is right and best for us to think about our eventual death and how we react to the death of loved ones. He provides us with a foundation of having a certain idea about how we should go about living while we are alive and well. One glitch is that in order to accept and use these ideas we have to agree on some foundational beliefs which Yalom explains in the book.

Mixed in with all of this are discussions of how today’s therapists usually counsel their patients versus his method, which combines an existential philosophy. We learn of how Sigmund Freud’s teachings have shaped and influenced today’s therapists. Dr. Yalom feels that many of the problems in people’s lives are actually based in having a fear of death; some people know that and others don’t realize that a death terror is the basis of problems in their lives.

Dr. Yalom wrote this book in language that a layperson can understand in the hopes that laypeople will read it as a self-help book and that they can use his ideas to go about living a better life and to rid themselves of some or all of their fear of death.

Dr. Yalom wishes more therapists and doctors would be more aware of the existence of death terror and he hopes they will read this book also. There is one chapter addressed specifically to therapists about how they might include these ideas in their practice. That chapter includes detailed information about how dreams can be the way a person’s mind expresses death terror. He feels that therapists can use dream interpretation in their practice as a clue to revealing a hidden death terror, then they can begin work on addressing their death terror to solve the root cause of the patient’s problem which then resolves the more obvious day to day problems happening in their lives, which are probably the reason the person came to therapy in the first place. I loved the idea of solving the root of the problem.

I didn’t expect this book to include so many references to the ideas of famous philosophers. I found it very interesting to the point where I would like more information and I plan to follow-up by reading some of the writings of these philosophers. (Previously I was not only afraid to read what philosophers said as I thought they may be too complex or not-understandable, but didn’t know why I should bother.) I appreciated the encouragement to read the original writings of Schopenhauer, in fact, one thing that disappointed me was that Dr. Yalom didn’t explore in more detail (such as an devoting an entire chapter to) Schopenhauer’s triplet of essays. Much was written about Nietzsche and I am intrigued and plan to read his original writings also.

A problem that some readers will have with the advice in the book will be if a reader’s spiritual and religious beliefs are different, then the basic model of how to use the advice in the book will not apply 100%. Some readers, if they knew these things in advance, would never buy or read the book, especially those who seek to avoid the secular humanist view.

To be specific, Yalom makes it clear that he has never believed in a God, ever. Raised in a home where his parents practiced Judaism, he says he never believed in any kind of God, even in his childhood. He lays out a way of thinking that to me is in line only with secular humanism. His belief system includes the idea that we come from nothing, are born with a soul and a physical body and when we die, both our soul and body dies completely and we return to a black hole of nothingness, permanently. The idea is that if we feel nothing after death and are completely gone and dead then we should not fear that death, nor will we even be able to feel regret for having not done everything we had hoped we do in our living days.

While he is not too insulting about people’s beliefs in other things he makes it clear on page 245 is that His “bete noir is bizarre belief: aura therapy, semi-defied gurus; hands-on healers; prophets; untested healing claims of various nutritionalists; aroma therapy, homeopathy, and zany ideas about such things as astral traveling, healing powers of crystals, religious miracles, angels, feng shui, channeling, remote viewing, meditational levitation, psychokinesis, poltergeists, past lives therapy and UFOs and extrerrestrials who inspired early civilizations, designed patterns in wheat fields, and built the Egyptian pyramids.” He continues, “Still I’ve always believed that I could put all prejudices aside and work with anyone regardless of his or her belief systems.” An issue is that some who believe in the aforementioned things, even Catholics who believe in miracles, may take such an affront to his outlook that they will close their minds to what Dr. Yalom has to say or they may choose to not read a single word of the book.

My feeling is that while some of Yalom’s ideas can be worked into belief systems such as the various types of Christianity, not all of them will completely jive, especially the idea that there is no Heaven and that the soul dies after birth. Other religions are also incompatible, anything that encompasses reincarnation or the idea that the soul continues to live on after the body perishes, such as the religions of Buddhism or Hinduism

This book will be the best fit as a self-help book for agnostics or Atheists. It may also be accepted easily by those who have not developed any spiritual beliefs yet who would not have any conflicts (and in fact, if while reading this book if they liked what it said they would be accepting a secular humanist belief without possibly even realizing it).

One last thing I’ll share about what I learned is that I am surprised to learn that modern therapists including psychiatrists (medical doctors) are, according to Dr. Yalom, in denial about the reality that in their daily life people are affected by a fear of death or have been affected by experiencing the death of people they care about. I don’t know a lot about the field of psychotherapy (I’ve never been in counseling or been through psychotherapy) but after reading this book, the field has lost some credibility with me. Basing so many theories on Freud and his denial of the reality of people being affected by death is scary.

I also hadn’t realized that the professional care and medical treatment given by psychiatrists would overlap into religious realms. I have a new concern that medical insurance companies are paying for treatments and therapies of what really is counseling that overlaps with religion especially if the therapists are pushing an Atheist worldview on their patients. I now can see why religious people would avoid these types of counselors and seek instead, counseling and advice from their pastors, preachers and priests.

I found the book interesting and food for thought. I am glad I read it as it addresses topics that I feel are not written about much today. Additionally, the book had me thinking and pondering and any book that covers seldom written about topics and makes me think automatically earns 4 stars from me.

The Gift of Therapy: An Open Letter to a New Generation of Therapists and Their Patients by Irvin Yalom

If all of my psychotherapy patients read this book at the start of therapy, I think that treatment would progress faster and go deeper. This is a perfect book for therapists to give to their patients, friends, and families, to promote understanding of just what goes on in the consulting room. One caveat (which Irv acknowledges himself): this book is about patients who are very high functioning. Serious mental illness, suicide, etc. are mentioned only in passing. Young clinicians who unthinkingly apply Dr. Yalom’s advice not to use psychiatric diagnoses could find themselves in a lot of trouble when working with a less fortunate patient population.

Love’s Executioner: & Other Tales of Psychotherapy (Perennial Classics) by Irvin D. Yalom

It seems that there’s more than a bit of transferance occuring with some of the reviewers here. Of course, everyone is entitled to their opinions but some of the reviewers here seem to have either missed the point of Dr. Yalom’s stories or are simply incapable of seeing past their entrenched prejudices and preconceptions.

Some readers are apparently unable to come to grips with one of the central theses of Yalom’s book, which is that the therapist is just as human and prone to error and prejudice as his patients. If anything, Yalom is almost embarrassingly honest about his often extremely negative reactions to many of his patients. He doesn’t candy-coat any of it. In this book we get Irvin Yalom, M.D., warts and all, just as he promises in his introduction.

The critics who cannot accept a “human” doctor are symptomatic of the greater societal damand that medical professionals should be (no, MUST be) above all emotion save those of the most magnanimous and saintly variety. We expect doctors to be godlike, above pettiness and messy “unseemly” thoughts and feelings. Bah. Hogwash.

Dr. Yalom’s triumph here is the explosion of such myths. He is not St. Yalom, ministering from his pedestal of medical and moral perfection. He is Irvin Yalom the Man, as prone to judgment as any of us. His unflinching self-criticism and honesty — with his patients, himself, and his readers — is what makes this such a remarkable book and Yalom such a remarkable therapist.

If you’re the sort who feels a psychic need to see doctors as superhuman this book will prove very disturbing to you. Those realistic enough to know this is ridiculous fantasy will be enlightening, entertained, and touched.

When Nietzsche Wept by Irvin D. Yalom

Breuer and Nietzsche never met, but Dr. Yalom considers the intriguing possibilities in this novel of psychological and philosophical ideas. Dr. Yalom is a professor of phsychiatry at Stanford and a proponent of “existential psychotherapy,” so he is able to create drama derived almost entirely from the emotional portraits of the characters rather than the actions and struggles of the characters in the external world. Yalom’s achievement is to make the reader care about Breuer and Nietzsche as they struggle to confront (or avoid) their greatest fears and weaknesses. The reader is drawn into intimate conversation with the brilliant but unloveable Nietzsche and the gifted but ungrateful Breuer. The necessary whining is balanced by just enough action and intellectual history to propel the narrative forward. Along the way the genesis of psychotherapy and existentialism is consisely explained using dialogue from Breuer, Freud and Nietzsche as well as quotations from their actual works. But this book not about theory. The sorrow of these great men is transformed into inspiration for the reader as they struggle to embrace the wisdom of amor fati, to love one’s fate. We are reminded of our own need to accept complete responsibility for our choices and to boldly face life’s challenges. One need not embrace an existentialist worldview to find inspiration in such advice. Neither does the Professor preach philosophy in his drama. Rather, the reader is invited to achieve a synthesis of his own after observing the strivings of the characters. Vienna was an intellectual microcosm of Europe in the late 19th Century, so the city bcomes a character in the story, with various characters, some historical, some fictional, acting as the sounding board for Breuer’s and Nietzsche’s nascent philosophies. This is not a book for readers put off by lengthy dialogues, and it is short on dramatic action and romance. But for those who might enjoy urgent and intimate conversation with great minds on the verge of their greatest achievements, When Nietzsche Wept may be as therapeutic as an afternoon with close friends over cafe melange at the Cafe Landtmann.

Momma and the Meaning of Life: Tales of Psychotherapy by Irvin D. Yalom

Not so long ago a paper was presented at a large psychological conference in America intriguingly entitled “Professors’ office door decorations: what do they tell?” One wonders at the cryptic meanings to be read from the various brass, plastic, glass and wooden runes on professorial doors scattered across the land. Beyond door decorations, and into the seemingly mysterious world of human relations behind the therapy door, we are fortunate to have the doubly gifted storyteller and psychotherapist Irvin Yalom to let us in. His new book `Momma and the Meaning of Life’ is a second collection of therapy tales which, I am glad to say, carry the same spellbinding quality, grasp and erudition as his first collection contained in `Love’s Executioner’. For reader’s unfamiliar to Yalom the pleasure of his writing is his darned ability to pull out sparkling insights from the darkest of places. Add to that a genius for telling stories and you are a little closer to understanding why this man’s writing is so compelling. What is special about this book is that he reveals more about himself, through `Momma’, than any of his other books. His mother and a dream are the start of a trail that criss-crosses his life.

What about momma, what was she like? Yalom draws a picture of an ill tempered, overpowering and vain woman with whom he never remembers sharing `a warm moment’. But she’s not all-bad. Yalom shares a moment of them together, a moment when she enjoying her son’s books. Unable to read them because of a sight problem, she handles then tenderly and says, “Big books. Beautiful books”. The rational son, on the other hand, points out that it is what is ‘in’ the books that is important not how they feel. “Oyvin, don’t talk narishkeit – foolishness. Beautiful books!” This motherly sense and presence is a quality that returns in different shapes to all of the six tales in the book. The tales being: ‘Momma and the Meaning of Life’; ‘Travels with Paula’: ‘Southern Comfort’; ‘Seven Advanced Lessons in the Therapy of Grief’; ‘Double Exposure’; and ‘The Hungarian Cat Curse’. All the tales have elements, in varying degrees, of non-fiction. Some like ‘Southern Comfort’ (my favourite), a story concerning a remarkable black woman in inpatient psychotherapy, are pure non-fiction `flecked only with fiction to conceal the patients’ identity’. But, as the author also says, `not only does fiction have its own truth, but every story, no matter how “true,” is a lie because it omits so much.’

Yalom is both a storyteller and teacher. His `academic’ books succeed, having sold in thousands and having been translated in some twenty languages, because they impart knowledge through stories. These stories engage us regardless of whether or not we are health professionals because the only qualification we need are that we are human. His other books, not so `Big books,’ novels and collections of tales, like `Momma and the Meaning of Life’, find more readers (they cost appreciably less and look more approachable) but still contain the essence and gems of his existential psychotherapy. The words `existential psychotherapy’ I mention judiciously here at the end of my review because they would have undoubtedly switched you off, nor have I mentioned the word `death’ – a theme that runs through `Momma’. It just goes to show how Yalom has found not only the perfect medium but also a way to engage and switch so many people on to these ideas. Yalom is a modern day alchemist, transmuting life’s lead into gold.

The Schopenhauer Cure: A Novel (P.S.) by Irvin Yalom

Irvin Yalom has had a multi-faceted career as a practicing psychotherapist, as a leading writer of texts on group therapy, and as a novelist. Yalom also had a deeply-based interest in philosophy. His novel “The Schopenhauer Cure” attempts to integrate fundmental human concerns, the search for love, for meaning in life, and for a way to accept death, with a novelistic portrayal of group therapy. It does so through a portrayal of Schopenhauer, among other philosophers. The book does not entirely succeed — it is somewhat awkwardly written and the characterizations leave a good deal to be desired — but it is thought-provoking and absorbing.

The story is set in San Francisco. The main character of the book is a famous psychiatrist, Julius, who learns that he has a fatal cancer. He considers how to spend his remaining time of health and, out of the blue, contacts Philip, a patient he had treated many years earlier, apparently unsuccesfully, for compulsive sexual behavior. Philip has in the intervening years given up his former career as a chemist, earned a PhD in philosophy and seeks to become a counselor. Philip has cured his sexual addiction by a study of the Nineteenth Century philosopher of pessimism, Arthur Schopenhauer. Like his mentor, Schopenhauer, Philip is arrogant, aloof, and brilliant. He agrees to become a participant in a therapy group lead by Julius in exchange for Julius’s help in meeting the requirements for a counselling license.

We meet a variety of characters in Julius’s group: the blue collar worker Tony, (the most appealing character in the book, in my view) the beautiful Rebecca, a lawyer concerned with the fading of her appearance, the reserved pediatrician Stuart, the librarian Bonnie, unhappy with her plainness, the English professor Pam, who has had numerous relationships in and outside marriage, all of them unsatisfactory, and the unhappily married and alcoholic Gill. The group is intrigued by Philip as the newcomer, by his detachment and his anti-sociability. But the members of the group are fascinated by Philip’s insights and by his discussions of Scopenhauer’s philosophy as a means of approaching the difficulties which plague them and which drive them to therapy. Sexual and relationship issues play a dominant role for each of the participants in the group and for Julius himself.

Gradually, Philip comes to open up and to find a peace with himself, Julius learns to come to terms with his impending death, and the members of the group make varied degrees of progress with themselves.

The chapters dealing with Julius and the group alternate with chapters discussing Schopenhauer’s philosophy and life. Schopenhauer was an unattractive individual indeed but he has much to teach. The values of a life of the mind, together with its limitations are brought out well in the novel and compensate for some of the wordy therapy scenes and the insufficient development of some of the characters.

In addition to Schopenhauer, the book considers the works of other philosphers at key points and compares and contrasts them to Schopenhauer. Yalom shows a good ability to get at the heart of the teachings of these philosophers for purposes of his story. They include, particularly, Nietzsche, the stoic philosopher,Epictetus, and Aristotle. Thomas Mann’s Schopenhauer-influenced novel “Buddenbrooks” also plays a substantial role in the discussion. As might be expected in a book dealing with Schopenhauer, there is a great deal of discussion of Buddhism and the growth of interest in the United States in the Buddha. In fact Pam, one of the major characters, spends ten days in India at a retreat given by the famous teacher Goenka, and subsequently joins a Buddhist church.

I found the religious and philosphical themes of this book helpful in a book meditating on death and on human sexuality. Julius, born Jewish, is an atheist and a skeptic. The other participants in the groups are, likewise, either secular in their religious orientation or tinged with an attraction to Buddhism. This combination of American secularism and Buddhism I have found appealing in recent years, and I felt validated, in a sense, by seeing this particular way of viewing oneself in the book. But I found myself curious, at several points, about what practicing Jews or Christians would say about this book and how they might respond to the dismissive attitude of the author and the protagonists of the story towards their theism.

This book works better as a study of philosophy and of the value of reflection than it does as a novel or as a portrayal of character. But I found it worthwhile.

Inpatient Group Psychotherapy by Irvin D. Yalom

Every time I pick up a Yalom book I ask myself why I have waited so long to read another one. His books are a pleasure to read and speak to people on all levels of experience and expertise. The title of this book says it all and is the perfect book for someone who will be working in an inpatient setting. This is a must-read for all professionals working with this population and speaks to the challenges and frustrations of this environment.